4 Things ‘Star Wars’ Fans Need to Accept About George Lucas – Part 2

By: Chris Bucholz, Cracked.com, February 14, 2012

I don’t see what the problem was with the old one, and I don’t see what the problem is with the new one. There’s just nothing here to get worked up about, and there never will be, so long as there’s no goddamned backflip sword fighting.

Finally let’s go back to “Han shot first” — the most egregious violation of everything, ever. I won’t defend this completely — it’s a clear-cut example of Lucas making his film worse — but it’s nowhere near the big deal some people would make it.

For the uninitiated, here’s the Coles Notes version of the controversy: While in the Mos Eisley Cantina, Han Solo is getting the gears from Greedo, a bounty hunter looking to collect space dollars. In the original film, as the conversation turns sour, Han gets the drop on Greedo, blowing him away under the table. In the revised version of this scene, Greedo shoots and misses, then Han shoots a fraction of a second later, finding his mark. Many people loathe this change, preferring the original version, where Han shoots first because they think this makes him more of a badass.

I’ve since found out that Lucas has made about five more versions of this scene with small variations, but in all the versions, the same three things are unchanged:

1) Han was reaching for his blaster because he was about to use it.

2) After shooting Greedo, Han walks away coolly, like he’s done this kind of thing before, and is kind of bored of it.

3) George Lucas is an idiot.

Whether George Lucas is an idiot and Han is a badass or George Lucas is an idiot and Han is a very lucky badass honestly makes no difference in how we think of Han or watch the rest of the film or live our lives. I will freely acknowledge that it’s a stupid change to make because of how it muddies the waters, but it’s way less of a big deal than everyone makes it. And even though it is undoubtedly a mistake, that actually turns out to be a good thing, because …

#2. It Gives Us Something to Complain About

Let’s take a holistic look at the whole Star Wars experience:

Complaining about Star Wars isn’t a bug, it’s a feature. The Internet probably would have collapsed due to lack of interest around the year 2000 if people didn’t have The Phantom Menace to bitch about. And in 2012, with the economy still struggling to regain its feet, we should be applauding Lucas and his addled authorial vision for his stimulating effects on the world’s bitching industry.

But if I had one final word of advice for the complainers and bitchers rushing to the ramparts to battle these latest revisions, it would have to be “moderation,” because lest we forget …

#1. It’s Just The Phantom Menace

Come on, fellas. It’s The Phantom Menace we’re talking about here. This one just isn’t worth getting that worked up about.

Save your real fury for when he puts an R2-D2 flying scene in the next Episode IV revision.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: